Guys Night
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: Spinoff of All My Dreams Chapter 85 and The Smile on Your Face Chapter 68.  Artie's dad plans guys night with Artie and Michael.  Artie texts Quinn.  Nice development of the relationship between Artie, his dad, and his brother.  Quartie Ficathon!


"I'll text you if it gets out of hand," Artie said, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he looked for his cell phone charger. "Or...I'll text you even if it doesn't. I'm assuming you want to know what's going on."

He could hear Quinn laugh on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, I definitely want you to keep me updated. I'm really interested to see what your dad's idea of guys night consists of."

He grinned. "I'll text you. I have to go...it sounds like Michael just locked himself in his room, probably in protest, and someone needs to go start negotiations to get him out. I'd rather get to him before Dad does."

"That's sweet!" she said, smiling at the image in her mind of Artie sitting outside his brother's door, trying to get him to come out. "But...maybe if he doesn't want to do it, you should just leave him alone."

He shook his head. "Oh...right, we're on the phone. You can't see me shaking my head. Dad's been talking about this for so long, and I am not letting Michael mess it up just because he's being a moody 14 year old."

"Yes, because you were never a moody 14 year old," she said, sitting down on her bed and twirling her hair around her finger.

He laughed. "Are you kidding? I was a little angel."

"Right, I'm sure you were," she said. "Actually...knowing you, you probably were."

He grinned. "I totally was. Ok...I've got to go, for real this time. I'll keep you updated."

"Ok, have fun!"

"Bye! Love you!"

"Bye! Love you too!"

**

* * *

**

"Michael, stop being an idiot and get out here," he said, pounding on the door. "Mom and Linds went to see a movie so dad could have his planned guys night with us, and you are not ruining this for him. It could be fun."

He sat, listening for a second to his brother's response.

"Don't swear at me! Don't make me break down the door!"

He listened again.

"Breaking down the door is not overreacting! And I could so do it."

Again, Michael replied.

"I said stop swearing at me! Come on, it's not for that long...I know you don't want to do anything for me, but do it for Dad, ok? Or Mom? Or...Linds? I don't really know why you'd do it for her, but just come out."

Apparently the sound of his brother sitting in front of his door talking about doing things for their parents and Lindsay was enough to get the younger Abrams to open his door.

"What do you want?" he asked, flinging open the door and staring down at his brother.

"You know what I want," Artie said, quietly. "Dad's been talking about this all week. It's only going to be for a couple hours."

Michael shook his head. "I am not going on some ridiculous man spa date with my dad and my dorky brother."

"Say what now?" Artie said, trying not to burst out laughing. "Who told you that was what's going on?"

Michael shrugged. "I asked Tom, and he said that his sister has girls night sometimes, where they put face masks on each other and weird fruity stuff like that. And I am not doing that."

Artie grinned. "I...don't really think that's what Dad had in mind..." he trailed off.

"Then what the hell are we supposed to do in the living room for two hours?" Michael said, going back into his room, and gesturing at Artie to follow him. "I just really don't see why he suddenly thinks we need to book guy time," he added, sitting down on his bed.

"Well, he's pretty busy with work and stuff most of the time," Artie said, wheeling closer. "Maybe he thinks he doesn't spend enough time with us?"

Shrugging, Michael picked at the fluff on his bed. "No offense, but hanging out with my dad and my brother isn't exactly the way I wanted to spend this evening. Tom asked if I wanted to go over and have an epic Wii marathon. I said no because I knew no one would let me go."

"What are you talking about? Dad and I are cool, yo!" Artie said, grinning at his brother.

Michael sighed. "And yet...every time you say something like that, it makes me think otherwise."

Artie laughed. "That was for effect, I wasn't serious."

"But you actually do talk like that, and it embarrasses me," Michael said.

Artie shrugged. "Well, if that's the only thing about me that embarrasses you, then I guess you have a much higher opinion of me than you've led me to believe."

Michael grinned a bit. "Well, you are a pretty cool brother most of the time. I just wish you'd dress a little differently."

"Hey!" Artie said, pretending to be shocked. "The ladies love how I dress."

"Yeah, I keep meaning to ask Quinn if she's had her eyes checked recently," Michael murmured, grinning from ear to ear.

"Please don't," Artie said. "I don't want my fantasy that she likes my wardrobe to be shattered."

Michael laughed. "Ok, fine. So...guys night? Do you have any idea what's going on here?"

Artie shook his head. "No idea. Maybe we should go find out."

After a brief fist bump, they headed out of Michael's room and towards the living room.

**

* * *

**

"Did you guys get lost on the way here?" Steve asked, grinning at his sons as they entered the room. "Because I thought the invitation was clearly marked 'living room.'"

Artie grinned. "We just had..."

Michael cut him off. "I just needed help finishing my homework."

"Ahhh," Steve said, pretending he hadn't heard the entire exchange that had taken place between his two sons. Sometimes they forgot that the living room and Michael's room weren't really that far apart, and the walls were thin. "Well, I'm glad you got it done so you can focus on GUYS NIGHT!"

Artie grinned at his father's enthusiasm. He assumed that he'd heard what had gone on down the hall, but wasn't going to say anything.

"So, what's the plan?" Artie asked, glancing over at the coffee table and noticing what appeared to be half a cow's worth of beef jerky. "We're not having a beef jerky festival, are we?"

Steve grinned. "Mom let Linds pick out the beef jerky, and then she came home and laid it out for us. I was going to put a bunch of it away after they left, but got distracted."

Michael laughed. "At least it's not bacon."

"What are you talking about? Bacon is even more awesome than beef jerky!" Artie said. "Although, if there was that much bacon lying on the coffee table, I might be slightly worried about the state of our arteries..."

Everyone laughed.

"So, Dad, you never answered Artie...what's the plan?" Michael asked, sitting down on the couch. "We're not having some sort of weird spa thing, are we?"

"Well, that never entered my mind, but if that's what you want..." Steve trailed off, winking at Artie. "Then I think Mom has some face mask around that smells like chocolate."

Michael's eyes widened slightly, before he realized his father was kidding. "Um...no, I'm good," he said, reaching for a couch pillow. "I'm just gonna hold this pillow in case I need to smother myself later, if we get to that part."

Artie chuckled. "No smothering allowed at guys night!"

"Seriously, though," Steve said, sitting down on the couch beside his son. "I wasn't going to admit this, but there actually isn't a plan. I just thought we'd hang out, do what you guys want to do, that sort of thing."

"In that case, I vote for Wii golf," Michael said, sitting up. "Or bowling. Or...something like that."

"In the mood to get schooled in golf, are you?" Artie asked, grinning at his brother.

Michael shook his head. "You'll never school me again. I've been practicing."

Steve grinned. "Well, I'm pretty sure both of you will be schooled by my golf skills."

"Dad, have you ever played this?" Michael asked, as he got out the Wii from the cabinet under the tv.

"No, but I've played real golf a few times...this can't be that different, right?"

"Um...sure," Artie said, grinning. "It's exactly the same as real golf."

He and Michael exchanged a look, as Michael turned on the tv."

"Dad," Michael said. "Prepare to be schooled."

**

* * *

**

As Artie waited for Michael and his dad to take their turns, he pulled out his phone, and texted Quinn.

A: Michael thought we were having a man spa date.

Q: ...?

A: I know. I LOLed so much...in my head. Not at him, because I didn't want to make him mad.

Q: How's it going?

A: Good. I'm schooling everyone at Wii golf.

Q: LOL you're so cute.

A: ...Actually, Michael is schooling me...apparently he's been practicing.

Q: Ok, stop saying schooling. You've said it twice to me, and you guys have probably said it 5 times to each other, haven't you?

A: How did you know?

Q: I know you.

A: Then you also know that I need to up my game, or I'm going to lose. I hate losing.

Q: I know. But...losing is good for your soul.

A: Not so much.

Q: Losing makes you a stronger man.

A: Definitely not.

Q: Losing makes you...humble?

A: NEVER! G2g...my turn.

Q: Don't you g2g me!

**

* * *

**

"I'm never playing this game again," grumbled Artie, handing the controller to Michael. "I hate this game."

Michael laughed. "You love this game. You only hate it because I'm better than you now."

"I'm having an off day!" Artie muttered. "I didn't sleep well."

"You never did like to lose at anything," Steve said, patting his son on the shoulder. "You get that from your mother."

Artie grinned. "You're just saying that because your score was the lowest this game has ever seen, and you don't want us to know you hate losing just as much as I do."

Michael laughed. "You're both just sore losers because I'm more awesome than you'll ever be."

"We're such a modest family," Artie chuckled, reaching for one of the fifteen package of beef jerky lying on the table. "Michael, I think Mom spent your college fund on beef jerky."

"It was on sale," Steve said, "So she only spent half your college fund."

"Well, it's not like it goes bad," Artie said. "If we were pioneers, this beef jerky would probably be at least a year old."

"And it would probably be buffalo or deer or something," Michael added, grinning. "Wait...did you seriously just say 'if we were pioneers?'"

Artie shrugged. "And? Don't you ever think about stuff like that?"

Michael shook his head. "Um...no, not so much."

"Well, you're the one that pointed out it would be buffalo or deer..." Artie said quietly, a small grin on his face. "So you must think about it if you know that."

Michael sighed. "Ok, fine. I think about stuff like that all the time. Or, like, what if we lived under the ocean? Or what if we lived in tunnels under ground?"

Artie's grin spread to his entire face. "Or what if we lived on Mars?"

"I KNOW!" Michael said, tossing aside the beef jerky. "How awesome would that be?"

Steve watched his sons, smiling at the fact that they were getting along so well. There had been several issues over the last few years, mostly to do with the way Michael treated his brother, but also to do with Artie's reactions to those things, and he was pleased to see that they appeared to be getting past that phase of their lives.

He was just about to suggest that they do something else, when they heard the front door open.

"Dad! We're home!" Lindsay called out, throwing her coat on the ground and running into the living room.

"Lindsay Abrams, your coat does not belong on the ground!" Beth called out from behind her. "Come hang it up, please."

Lindsay stopped in her tracks, turned around, and ran out of the room.

"Well, looks like guys night is done," Steve said to his sons, who were still deep in conversation about living in various places and time periods. "Maybe we can do this again?"

Artie nodded.

"Sure," Michael said, grinning at his dad. "This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Tom said something about face masks and fruity things, and I got a little freaked out."

Steve laughed. "Don't let Linds hear you talking like that, or you'll have that stuff on your face before you caneven try to get away," he said quietly.

Michael's eyes widened, and Artie burst out laughing. "It's not so bad, Michael, just make sure it doesn't get in your eyebrows."

His eyes widened further. "You let her do that to you?"

Artie nodded. "It was either that or letting her put makeup on me. I think I picked the lesser of the two evils."

Michael burst out laughing. "I wish I had a picture of that."

Before Artie could stop himself, he blurted out, "Quinn has one on her phone. I mean...no, we don't have one."

"Are you kidding me? I'm texting her for it right now!" Michael said, whipping out his phone.

"...You have Quinn's number?" Artie asked, staring at his brother. "What...how? WHY?"

"I heard her giving it to someone a few weeks ago," he said, "so I saved it just in case I ever needed it."

Artie was about to protest, when Lindsay re-entered the room. "I had to hang up my coat, and then I lost my sock," she said, crawling up onto the couch. "Dad, guess what! We went to the movies and there were princesses, and it was so cool!"

Steve smiled. "That's great!"

"Can we watch the Little Mermaid?" she said, to no one in particular. "Artie, can you put it on?"

"What's the magic word?" he said, grinning at her.

"Can you put it on, kittens?" she said, grinning back.

"No, Linds, the other magic word..." he said to her.

"Oh! She said, jumping down from the couch and hurrying over to her brother. "Can you please put it on please? I love you."

He smiled. "That's better. I think you better ask everyone else first," he said.

"EVERYONE ELSE!" she yelled, turning away from Artie. "CAN WE WATCH THE LITTLE MERMAID?"

"Not again!" Michael muttered. "I'm going to my room."

"Michael, please?" Lindsay said, hopping back over to the couch. "You never want to watch it with me. It has fish! You like fish, right?"

He sighed. "Fine, I'll watch it. But only if you come sit with me," he added, patting the couch beside him.

Lindsay looked over to Artie, making sure that that would be alright with him, because she usually sat on him to watch movies in the evenings. Once he had nodded and smiled at her, she grinned, climbing up on the couch beside Michael.

Artie, having seen the Little Mermaid approximately 327 times, headed off in search of his mother.

**

* * *

**

"How was guys night, sweetie?" she asked, as he wheeled up to the kitchen table. "Did you have a good time? Did Michael behave?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he behaved, and it was great. I think we're going to do this again."

She smiled. "That's great. I know Dad was worried about you guys not wanting to spend the evening with him. Well...mostly he was worried about Michael."

He grinned. "It took a bit of convincing, but once he was there it was fine. He somehow thought we were having a spa man date, or something..."

Beth laughed. "I'm glad that he behaved," she said, putting away the dish cloths she'd just finished folding. "We'd better get back out to the living room before Linds comes looking for us," she added. "You know how she is about the Little Mermaid.

"Yeah, I guess we'd better," he said, organizing the pile of placemats on the table. "We may as well transition guys night into family night."

She laughed. "Good plan. You go ahead sweetie, I'll be there in a second."

**

* * *

**

Later that evening, Artie was lying in bed, when his phone lit up.

Q: How was it? Are you done?

A: It was good. Yeah...just lying in bed.

Q: And you didn't text me?

A: I just came to bed!

Q: Suuure you did.

A: Did you have a good evening?

Q: I watched the Little Mermaid.

A: OMG. So did we.

Q: ...you watched the Little Mermaid at guys night? LOL!

A: No, after. Linds and Mom came home.

Q: Oh. Well, still...LOL

A: I'm pretty sure Linds is going to wear out that DVD. I have seriously seen that over 300 times.

Q: So cute. Do you have all the words memorized?

A: ...maybe. Tell no one.

Q: LOL. Oh, Artie.

A: Tomorrow...you + me + a movie marathon?

Q: Only if I get to pick this time.

A: Deal. Oh, also...did Michael text you?

Q: No, why?

A: Never mind.

Q: You can't ask something like that and then just say never mind!

A: He just wanted that pic of me with the face mask. Don't give it to him.

Q: LOL, Artie!

A: Please don't!

Q: Are you tired? You usually have more to say.

A: Yeah, kinda.

Q: Go to sleep? I'll still be around in the morning.

A: Ok. Ordinarily I'd fight you on this, but...I am tired.

Q: Ok. Good night! I'm glad you had a nice time tonight.

A: :) Me too. Good night! ILU.

Q: ...?

A: I Love You.

Q: OH. Well, in that case...ILU 2. ;)

A: :D

**A/N: QUARTIE FICATHON NOW IN PROGRESS! All the fics that have been posted so far are AMAZING, and anyone reading this should go read them all!**

**Or...better yet...join us and write some! Details can be found in the Quinn/Artie Forum, or you can PM me!**


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